in Dedication


I gotta get my ass to the gym tonight. It’s a Saturday. I never have anything going on. I usually never do. I used to feel self conscious showing up at the gym on Friday and Saturday nights. Now I enjoy the emptiness.

I used to listen to a lot of rap music to get me pumped. A bit of my motivation was to listen to a new mixtape or album at the gym but now I feel out of love with hip hop. I guess I just grew out of it. The lyrics all seem stupid and the beats are repetitive. It feels like the music is only perpetuating trauma and the shit makes me anxious in a bad way.

I end up listening to anime soundtracks that are an upbeat mix of choral orchestral. I know musical genres are like phases to me. I used to like classical and opera as a kid after my punk phase. I always equated rap music with punk because its raw and rebellious nature. I guess I now long for something more complex and refined. It also makes me feel better.

Cool. Time to get dressed.

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