For better or for worse, work has been my creative pacifier. I am lucky enough to have a job which satiates the part of me that yearns to create stuff. I get to share my knowledge and enthusiasm of film, video games, and popular culture. However, it is feigning my need to create. When summer hits and I’m unemployed or underemployed, the existential dread starts to creep in and if I don’t prepare for it, I get depressed.
I used to do a weekly stream with my father that fulfilled what was lost from making YouTube videos. It was a half step as it was sort the same thing but with less effort as it was a live stream. That fell apart miserably and I’m on terrible terms with my father which sucks cause he’s living what may be the final stretch of his life here.
I was able to start a gaming podcast with a friend which has helped fill the void of the void filler while I was working during the school year but now with this new abundance of time I must face the abyss.
I want to make something but I have no idea. I don’t know what that is all about. Maybe I’m past the point of needing to start a family and this is that phantom child waiting to be born.
Anyways, I figure I should start writing here to get the juices flowing. Hell to see if anything comes out.