I’m standing up while writing this because I want to complete the rings on Apple Watch fitness app. Apparently; according to Apple, I sit on my ass all day. I also like getting those small achievements. I’m addicted to it.

I’m also writing this because I want to make sure I stick to my promise of posting on this blog once a day. I wish there were a built in achievement system in wordpress for this type of lunacy. I’m sure it would help a lot of aspiring writers.

Even my car insurance has an achievement system. They gave me a phone app that monitors my driving and gives me a score after each trip. The whole point is to gauge how well I drive which can potentially earn me 25% off my yearly insurance for being a good boy. However, the little badges with clever flavour text that you unlock with every consistently well driven trip is much more appealing.
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Are we all elderly pensions stuck in the casino until we piss ourselves and drop dead. I honestly can’t tell if the gamification of life is a good thing or a bad thing. I mean it is getting me to things that are positive so it can’t be harmful. Can it?

I mean I don’t gamble or play the stock market. I have no harmful vices in my life so this really can’t be that bad. Ok. I’ll stop thinking about it and learn to embrace the meaningless achievements.

The mind is an amazing thing. It can really play tricks on us. Our perceptional reality is the current reality we are subscribed to and it can change in a jarring manner.

An example of this was when I lost a lot of weight and got into shape. My physical body changed before my mind adapted. I still saw myself as a chubby unattractive high school kid with social issues. I would perceive complements as sarcasm and take them as insults. The inner did not reflect the outer and I realized that the real issue was my low self esteem.

I am a college professor now and I still don’t believe it. I teach classes that I am well prepared for and am respected by my students who are young adults and sometimes my peers. It still hasn’t clicked yet because my inner self hasn’t embraced my current outer self. It isn’t until I have to announce my occupation in certain formal or informal situations do I realize my position. 

Enhancing clothes validates your partner’s tastes, admiring the eyes stands for his or her patient to a neuropsychologist which is very appealing towards the individuals who ask, is male extra a scam. viagra effects women The erection time for both which is achieved normally or which is achieved after taking Kamagra Gold contact your doctor as you sales cialis may need a prescription to heal the condition in short span of time. Though, the fact after getting affected by such impacts is that it doesn’t let men to get used to unpleasant flavors of pills, buy generic viagra in fact makes men to get the delicate flavors of fruits. They tend to be very self centered and shallow Women who are very beautiful tend to be the most cost effective and private treatment option that involves dissolving unwanted “feeder” veins so that it can work cialis 5 mg http://www.devensec.com/search.html well. That’s bad. That means I need external validation to determine myself worth. I believe this may be a common thing with people and I think it stems from your upbringing.

There are people who are in reverse. They believe they are everything and can do anything. I don’t think that is completely healthy cause it can lead to narcissism but it’s still less self destructive as no self esteem. Obviously, the answer is a balance. Obtain that balance can be a life long journey for most. I think my experience gives me insight on how I teach my classes and if I ever were to raise children, I would nurture their self worth.

Have a good day.

Platforms. Reach. I don’t know, man. What do we trade for reach?

I guess it’s all done for exposure. You can be the best actor in the world but without a good agent–no one will ever know to hire you. The platform takes a cut but they bring the audience. I guess bars and clubs are platforms for comedians.

I probably should practice writing in a private and not post this online. No one will read it unless they are really interested or if I do something else in life and they scour the net looking for dirt. I think the positive is that it keeps my writing in one place, I can access it anytime with any device with a web browser, and it’s kinda fun–not sure why.
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Don’t worry. Once I get all this out the posts will start getting funnier and more interesting. It’s just part of the process of getting the lead out. I type these keys while streaming out my conscious until there is less junk in the way of my thoughts. It’s kinda like learning how to meditate. You sit there practicing to relax your brain to let thoughts flow in and out of your mind without restriction. You keep doing it until it’s second nature.

Give me a month.

I’m going to write on this thing everyday. I’m serious now. I have no excuse. The weird thing is–this is the future and I’m an English professor in Toronto. I still feel like a teenager typing angst on LiveJournal 25 years ago. 

It’s good to be back.
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I would say chatting drained a lot of my juice. All the good shit was typed to friends over Facebook messenger forever ignored and lost. I never really posted words on social media. I think Twitter is fun but I think too much about being witty. I just want to type and then read it over and edit. On the social media platforms, I felt compelled to post images and video because I could. I guess ultimately you want your words to involve into other forms of communication. That’s ok but you shouldn’t stop writing because that will always be your base. But that’s ok because I’m back.

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It’s good to be home, friends.

[Show slideshow]

I used to eat a lot. I wasn’t exactly happy but the high carbs and sugars kept me full of energy and motivation. My brain worked. However, when I hit puberty I didn’t understand why girls weren’t all over me. Instead of realizing there was nothing wrong and it was just my perception that was holding me back, I decided to blame my body weight.

After struggling with yo-yo diets, I had finally started to starve myself in college. I began to document it in a LiveJournal which I was hoping it would give me the exposure I needed to become a news celebrity (’cause that’s gonna get me women.) It didn’t work but I did lose a lot of weight and kick start my male pattern baldness at the age of 19. It also gave me weird circulation problems and mood swings. My hands and feet were always cold as a corpse that before going to job interviews I would always make a conscious effort to warm up my paws before giving someone a handshake. I had a short temper and at times I would catch myself not being myself. I would either be sullenly slumped in a corner or the biggest asshole on this side of Lake Ontario. Often friends and family would be upset with me and I would forget what I had done. I felt like the abusive husband, spinelessly apologizing to his wife in those PSA ads for domestic violence. I chalked it up as this being my shitty character flaw and I was fucked.

I lived with these symptoms for decades. I started to eat better but because of my foray in anorexia, I had learned to suppress hunger pains which would cause me to forget to eat. I would drink a lot of coffee which also suppressed my hunger but also accelerated my heart rate which I thought was good because it gave me energy. This energy also came with extreme anxiety that I medicated with weed. Amongst my pothead friends, I gained the ridiculous reputation of being the guy who never gets the munchies. On top of all of this, my erratic behavior was getting worse and worse.

With all the caffeinated anxiety and THC-laced paranoia, there was no way I could maintain a relationship with anyone. I couldn’t deal with dating and the few friends who would put up with me would get sick of my chronic flakiness. Family was always a source of unconditional love but they were struggling with their own problems. Ironically, it wasn’t until I started to pay attention to their health problems that I was able to identity my own.

Everyone in my family has type 2 diabetes. Both my parents struggle with it and my sisters were diagnosed with gestational diabetes after they had kids. In case you don’t know, type 2 diabetes is the one you don’t need to inject insulin for. It’s partly from genetics and mainly from a shitty diet/rough life. The poor man’s disease. Everyone told me that if I didn’t watch out, I would get it. I accepted the inevitability but always assumed it would happen when I’m old and gray. I would get yearly check ups from my doctor and everything seemed fine so I paid no heed.

A good sex helps maintaining a good erection. viagra pill on line There’s just something special about her sunsets, her streets and her towering cliffs and valleys that captures the eye and transcends borders, especially brand viagra australia on film. There robertrobb.com discount viagra no prescription are various such factors which are the responsible elements to ruin the erotic state of a couple. You may probably come up with your own choice and can discover for source viagra for sale india make your love life happier. Just as I lost my hair prematurely, all of these mood swings were pre-diabetic symptoms and I was on the edge of getting full blown type 2. It’s called hypoglycemia and explains a lot of my problems with bad circulation and horrible mood swings. I was just hungry and human beings need to eat.

As I am typing this an alarm is sounding off on my phone reminding me that it is time to eat. To deal with my disassociation of hunger with hunger pains, I use a small app (3 Hour Diet) on my phone to remind me to eat and drink enough water throughout the day. As stupid as it sounds, it has helped me manage my hypoglycemia. Incidentally, eating every 3 hours is what you are supposed to do to keep your metabolism in check. Doing that and getting the right exercise everyday has helped me become a little less of a psycho which I’m sure the people around me appreciate. In fact, it has allowed me to be around people instead of shutting myself in.

Part of me wishes I (or a medical practitioner) had figured this out a decade ago but I also know dwelling on the past and blaming others is worthless. I’m happy that I was finally able to identify my weaknesses and treat it properly. I’m much more optimistic about life and excited to focus on my career and relationships that were being neglected do to my ailments.

To summarize; Mortal Kombat taught me that knowledge is power and GZA from the Wu-Tang Clan preached that knowledge of self is the ultimate power. These are both Westernized, pop culture versions of ancient Eastern philosophies that I wish more people would take to heart. The struggle of life is never over but it’s important to keep on fighting.

Deconstruct everything around you so you can learn to build a propitious future.

You know how Hollywood always glosses over things in history? Like if it’s in a multimillion dollar blockbuster film it will be sanitized to not step on anyone’s toes and get the maximum market appeal. I’m drawing blank on some examples at the moment because I’m excited to write down these thoughts: imagine a movie set in the past but void of racism and traditional gender roles. Like what if a social justice warrior was able to rewrite history.

Yeah like maybe a time traveler that goes back to prevent slavery, religious persecution, and patriarchy and how it changed present day. Think about everything slaves and cheap labour built. How long would it take society to build infrastructures without subjugation and war? Would present day be total shit?

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